The Other Significant Other

A conversation in phone with a friend of mine.
Den : LU GOBLOK!!!

Wid : Iya, iya gue tau gue goblok. Tapi, gimana? Gue suka ama dia. Emang sih belum suka as in suka ‘I love you’ kinda thing. Tapi, gue suka ama ni orang.

Den : LU TOLOL!!!

Wid : Iya, gue tolol. Gue tau dia udah ada yang punya. Gue salah banget waktu ketemu ama dia lagi. Kenapa juga gue ketemu dia setelah udah jelas-jelas dia bilang kalo dia balik ama mantannya? Tau kenapa? Karena gue suka ada di deket dia. Udah lama, Den. Udah lama gue gak ngerasa kayak gini.

Den : LU GILA!!!

Wid : Emang gue gila! Gue gila dan gue jahat. Gue manusia yang paling menjunjung tinggi yang namanya kesetiaan dan komitmen, sekarang malah gue jadi orang yang berpeluang untuk membuat kesetiaan ama komitmen itu jadi sia-sia. Gue bisa-bisa ngancurin hubungan orang lain.

Den : Wid, terlepas dari dia happy ato gak karena balik ama mantannya. Lu gak bisa, lu gak boleh dan lu seharusnya sadar diri untuk menjauh.

Wid : Emang gak mungkin ya untuk temenan aja seperti biasa?

Den : Bisa aja sih, tapi mungkin gak menurut lu? Mungkin gak kalo keduanya bener-bener udah gak punya feeling satu sama lain?

Wid : Gue pribadi sih yakin gue bisa untuk seperti itu. Selama dia juga gak berbuat yang macem-macem. As in playing, fooling around with my feeling.

Den : Emang sih. Susah untuk ngindarin itu. I know that. Tapi, lu harus. Setidaknya kalo lu mau nunggu dia, yang which is gue yakin penantian lu itu sia-sia ato setidaknya butuh waktu yang lama, lu harus nunggu di belakang. Istilahnya ‘GET IN THE LINE, BITCH!!!’


Selingkuh, gak pernah ada indah-indahnya!!! Jadi, bullshit banget buat orang-orang yang sering ngomong kalo selingkuh itu indah. Selingkuh tuh cuman bawa perkara, malapetaka dan bencana buat hidup lu, orang yang lu suka sama orang yang jadi partner resmi dari orang yang lu suka.

Kayak yang gue bilang ke Wid, terlepas dari alasan apapun gebetan lu balik sama mantannya, kenyataan bahwa lu gak dipilih oleh dia, itu udah cukup ngebuktiin bahwa you’re not worth enough for him/her. Lu gak seberharga itu untuk diperjuangin oleh dia. Dan itu udah merupakan alasan yang cukup untuk stop everything. Enough is enough.

You may think that you might found someone who is right for you. Tapi, dia akhirnya milih untuk balik ama mantannya. What can you say? Lu mau bilang bahwa lu bakal berjuang sampe titik darah penghabisan untuk ngedapetin dia? Bisa aja sih, tapi kalo lu adalah gue, orang yang sangat menjunjung tinggi komitmen dan kesetiaan, lu pasti bakal ngerasa bersalah terus-terusan. Bersalah karena lu menjadi pihak ketiga yang membuat kemungkinan mereka bubar jalan semakin besar. Iya sih, lu pada akhirnya bisa ngedapetin that particular someone. Tetep aja that guilty feeling lu akan terus ada. Karena lu membina hubungan di atas penderitaan orang lain.

Cinta gak selalu harus berarti lu ada di sebelah orang itu koq. Logikanya memang absurd untuk ungkapan ‘cinta tidak harus memiliki’. Tapi, somehow I just believe it’s true. Sakit…iya lah sakit banget. Saat harapan lu udah tumbuh semakin besar bahwa hubungan ini awalnya bisa menjadi hubungan yang lu impikan selama ini, tapi ternyata harus hancur begitu saja. Pasti sakit banget rasanya. Cuman, time heals koq. Gue percaya satu itu. Gue percaya kalo saatnya tiba, you will look into the past and you will laugh at it.

Bayangin aja seorang concubine (gundik/selir/. Seorang concubine gak bisa nelpon ato sms untuk bilang ‘I miss you’, karena si pasangannya melarang. Karena pasangannya takut kalo the official partner bisa ngebaca cell phone-nya dia. Seorang concubine gak bisa minta dipeluk waktu dia lagi kedinginan karena pasangannya ada di rumah bersama official partnernya. Seorang concubine gak bisa ngerencanain jalan bareng karena pasangannya udah punya rencana lain ama official partnernya.

Being the other person, you have no other choice and you have no right to expect more from your lover. Unless, dia yang ngeluangin waktu untuk ketemu lu. Waktu yang dia ambil dengan sembunyi-sembunyi dan berbohong sama official lover-nya.

Gue pernah bilang sama beberapa temen-temen gue yang baru mulai pacaran ato kawin (siapa pula gue ngasi nasehat soal hubungan? Hehehehehe….), gue bilang,

“Yang namanya awal-awal hubungan, 3 sampe 4 bulan pertama, pasangan itu masih menjalani fase honeymoon. Semuanya masih indah. Tapi seiring waktu berjalan, grafiknya bakal ngebentuk huruf ‘U’ kebalik. Naik ampe puncak terus turun lagi. Itu gak bisa dihindarin. Tapi, kalian berdua harus bisa, mau gak mau, untuk ngelewatin itu semua. Karena hal itu wajar dalam hubungan. Semua hubungan bakal kayak gitu.”

When feelings is involved, kadang logika pun udah gak berguna lagi. Logika udah gak bisa berpikir sehat. Jadi, gue gak bisa nyuruh siapapun yang berada di posisi sebagai the other person untuk menghentikan semua itu begitu saja. Cuman diri lu seorang yang tau kapan harus berhenti. Cuman you must understand the risk and the situation yang bakal lu hadapin ke depannya nanti. Always prepare for the worst case scenario.

Andai gue yang ada di posisi sebagai the other person, mungkin gue juga gak akan menghentikan semua itu. Semua back-street affair itu. Karena, gue pastinya udah terlanjur sayang ama orang yang bersangkutan. Dan akan berat banget buat gue menghentikan ini semua. Kecuali kalo orang yang gue sayang ini yang memilih untuk meninggalkan gue then I will be hurt for a while but, at least I know what to do next.

Frankly speaking, don’t ask me to leave you. Coz, I don’t think I want to do that. Even when I know the fact that if this thing really works out, it will become a relationship that built on other people sadness and misery.

Maybe being friend bukan opsi untuk 2 orang yang saling menyukai (bahkan mencintai). Terutama bila salah satunya memutuskan untuk kembali memiliki pasangannya yang dahulu. Karena in the end, cuman perasaan sakit, hancur, sedih dan masalah yang menunggu di ujung jalan sana untuk orang-orang yang terlibat dalam hubungan ini. Mungkin kalo lu pengen jadi temen ama orang yang lu sukai ini, pake prinsip seorang geisha. Prinsip itu adalah :
"BOLEH DILIHAT, DIPEGANG JANGAN"

Something About My Dreams

Tell me, who in this world that has no dream? Come one … for once in your life admit it. You do have dream even though it is hard for you to tell or to admit. Hahaha…come on, come on. Let’s open yourself a little bit.

As for me, for the very first time in my life, I think about sharing you some of my dreams inside my tiny, little, puny, miserable head of mine. Though I have to admit I’m a little bit afraid. Coz it’s like opening my self to the public. Where everyone can read me like an open book.

➢ Dream job. Hmm…I love advertising. No matter how many times I said that I want to get out this field, somehow I just loved it. I love the pressure. I love meeting new peoples. I love the friends. I just love the atmosphere. So, yeah, I wish that I had a good career in advertising someday. Somehow I will try to manage it and make it happen at any stakes.

➢ Dream house. Not much about this one. I’m quite happy with where I live now. Though I have to admit it needs some fixing at some parts … well, most parts of the house. But, once it managed I think it will be great. My dream house would be something like…small, with not so many rooms. At least just enough room for me and my guests when there are some around. With green yards and a fountain. The furniture should be fluffy, warm and cozy. With warm lights when the night comes. A cable TV would be nice. Also a clean, sleek and modern kitchen … ooohhh … I would love to have that, as I want to cook everyday. So ladies and gents, you’ll be glad to have me as your partner. Hehehehe…I guess that’s enough for subject dream house.

➢ I always want to have a … maybe some dogs in my house. You might find it disgusting but I always love sleeping with my dogs. I used to have a dog when I was little. He always slept on my bed, near my feet. I always remember how every morning he licked my face to wake me up. And I miss that. Hehehe…a golden retriever (Pooky) and a labrador (Odie) would be sufficient.

➢ Music is something that I love. I love music so much, it’s even affects my mood sometime. Unfortunately, I can’t play any instruments. I played a little bit of violin and saxophone. But, it was a long time ago. Guess I already forgot how. So, it would’ve been a dream if I can learn it again. Or maybe have someone to play it for me.

➢ I don’t want to become an employee for the rest of my life. I want an early retirement. So, I can enjoy more of life.

➢ I want to teach in the kindergarten. I want to be a story-teller. Hehehe…maybe some of you would be surprise when you read this. But, somehow I’ve always got a way with kids.

➢ I want to walk down at Champ-Elysess on Christmas. Drinking café au lait. Some company would be nice.

➢ I want to go to Tuscany. Spend 2 days summer there. Watching flowers and enjoying the local culture. Hehehe…bit cheesy? I know. But, hey come on, it’s my dream. I can do whatever with my dream.

➢ I want to stop working. Hehehe…don’t we all? But, somehow still manage some money to support my hedonistic life. Hahahahahahaha…..

➢ I want to make drastic changes in my life. Like move to another country, starts a new life. Hmm…Switzerland sounds great. Tuscany also. Hehehe…bought a house …maybe a small flat.

➢ Market day in Cortona is a nice place to visit when you’re around Tuscany. It would be a nice place for honeymooners. One side of me just being opened … call me romantic, oh I guess I am so.

➢ I want to have a house in Ubud. A small house but with wide garden. Lush surroundings, birds chirping around. There’s rice paddy field near a river so I can play around just like a child. Hehehehe…

➢ Like my friend, Joshua, I also always want to write a book. A book that I wrote myself. Surely, it will be a plus if the book can be adapted into a motion picture.

➢ Last but not least. This is something I’ve been keep writing again and again. It is my biggest dream ever. That is to find someone who actually wants to live with me, love me and cherish me till the day God decided to take us apart. I want to find someone that I love. Someone I can grow old with. Someone who will take care of me when I’m sick. Someone to argue about which color should we use on our bedroom. Someone to argue about who is gonna take Pooky and Odie to the vet. Someone that I can go monthly grocery shopping with. Someone that I can hug every night and to whisper that ‘I love you’. Ahhh….wishful thinking? Hope not.


Ahh…dreams.
Some people might say that some dreams are just dreams. But, for me it is something you should achieve. Sometime also, we won’t get everything we want in life. Sometime, something that we wished for is materialized in some other way, in some other thing.

Whatever your dream is, you have to make it come true. No matter what. Sometime when you have eliminates the impossible, somehow the truth will reveal itself and shows the path. So, see beyond. Trust yourself. Pull yourself together and make that dream come true. Even when it can’t come true, don’t let yourself down. There’s got to be something behind of everything. Something good must be there. Besides, God works in His own mysterious way, isn’t He? So, watch the signs. Who knows it is a sign that will help you to achieve your dream.